Dear IRS,

You think you’re so fucking smart don’t you? First, you tell me that because I got a job in September that classifies me “self-employed” I need to start filing estimated taxes. But no worries, you tell me! No need to file until the 4th quarter (on Jan 15), and if I really want to save myself a hassle I can just skip that one too and file my annual tax by January 31. And I was all, omg I can do that! Thanks so much IRS, we can totally be besties. 

And then I call your help-line last week about a routine question and your little minion man tells me that because I didn’t make estimated payments in April, June, and September, I am going to get charged penalties. And I was all, wtf? I was in school! I didn’t even make any money until September! I didn’t KNOW. And he told me, no worries, just fill out this nifty little form called 2210 that shows that you didn’t make any money until September and no penalty for you. And I was all, omg thanks! The IRS is so HELPFUL, who knew? 

So like a good little tax-payer I ran to my nearest Staples and bought a nifty little product called TaxCut to guide me through the maze of forms. I work diligently providing my income, my credits, my deductions, my bra size, my biggest fear, and the name of my dog. I then try to e-file my form, and what am I told? 

“We’re sorry, but the IRS is still working on updating form 2210, but it will be available on February 5.” HMMMmmm.

Let me get this straight: 

1- If I don’t file by January 31, I get fines and penalties

2- I can’t file with a 2210 until February 5

3- If I file by January 31 without a 2210, I get fines and penalties. 

Ummm? Fuck you very much.

Hugs and kisses,

Lyndsey

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Today I learned:

1- My boss was a Fulbright Scholar (and I’m not even sure I spelled Fulbright correctly…)

2- My boss worked for the CIA

 

And yet? 

10:50am: TBM spends 20 minutes looking for an important report, which he finds in the basement of our office in a file cabinet in the corner. 

11:20am: I spend less than 40 seconds locating the notes I made during a phone conversation several months ago, labeled neatly in a file cabinet approximately 4 feet from my desk. 

 

The price of genius?

Can you hear me now?

On a day not long ago in my office, the following conversation happened between my boss and me: 

TBM: Can you write an X for me please? 

Me: Yep. So to do that I just write an A and a B and a C? 

TBM: Yep. 

Me: Okay sounds good.

**later that night via email**

Me: Hey TBM- I am attaching A, B, and C for X. Please review and give me notes for edits in the morning. 

**the next morning in TBM’s office**

Me: So did you get the email I sent you last night?

TMB: Hm?

Me: With the A, and the B, and the C? Did you look at them?

TMB: Huh? Oh, yea. They look fine. Print a hard copy and I’ll give them a glance.

*prints hard copy and takes to boss*

TBM: An A and a B? Why did you do that?

Me: I asked you… you said … wait, I wasn’t supposed to?

TBM: No. You just needed C.

Me: But I…. we JUST talked about this… you said you read my email. Did you?

TBM: No… 

Me: *sigh*

Such is life in the office of a brilliant, but scatterbrained!, boss.

Weekly Weigh-In and Snowy Photos

Down .8 this week. Which is freakin awesome considering I went out for mexican food and margaritas not once but TWICE this week. 

If I could eat mexican food and margaritas every single day of the week and not be 800 pounds, I would do it. 

Anyways… I should prob step it up this week and like, lose a whole pound or something. Meh.

_________________________________________________________

Also, we got some snow yesterday and I bundled up myself and the pup to get some pictures at a local park. I looked SUPER hot. Seriously, bundled from head to toe? H-o-t-t.

Rear-view meAnd the glasses bc I was too lazy to wear my contacts? And the cave-woman eyebrows? My pride means nothing in pursuit of that one great shot. I didn’t get it. But I got a few decent ones. I liked these berries, but it’s a pretty standard everyone-has-one type shot.

berriesPlus I’d been meaning to head to the state Supreme Court building and get a pic for a while, but again… just ok. 

Supreme Court

Oh well… no perfect shot.  But, how cute is my dog/partner in photos, seriously? 

Sepia-Stewie

Note to men:

(or maybe just boss-type-men)

When you get to the office several hours after your employee and say to her “Wow. Looks like you had a rough night” it does not actually translate to “Thank you for working until 2 a.m. last night (this morning?) and coming back this morning to work on this ridiculously tedious and ginormous project”

Just FYI

Okay in his defense he did say thank you (later). But still.

Eight years ago, I cried.

I know a lot of people don’t put their political beliefs out there, but whatever. It is a huge part of who I am. I’m liberal. Really liberal. Like almost socialist liberal. Get over it or don’t.. it’s out there!

Eight years ago. I was sixteen and it was the first time I really paid attention to an election. I couldn’t vote, but I watched the news nightly waiting to hear that the Supreme Court had ruled with the majority, with the people of this country, who made a choice. It was one of those where-were-you moments. I was blow-drying my hair for school. Standing in the bathroom with a round brush trying to achieve the perfect flip and only half listening to the news on in the living room. And then I heard it. And I cried. 

My friends will tell you, I am not a sentimental person. I don’t cry at movies, I don’t cry at weddings, I am not particularly emotional. But I felt betrayed by a  government I was just beginning to trust. 

And then today. I watched my president take the oath. The first time my vote felt like it counted. And I was so proud of us as a nation, and I cried. 

But… because I can’t write a purely sentimental post… for your view/mocking pleasure:

obama-bush-pic

Obama: “Look all you want old man, in two hours this place is MINE”

Laura: “OMGOMGOMG I’m standing next to a black guy. I can’t wait to tell my girl friends how progressive I am!”

W: “Two hours my ass, I’m president right now. C’mere Laura don’t lean so close”

Michelle: “Damn my man’s fine. Hellllooooo Mr. President”

Weekly Weigh-in

One of my other resolutions (there are lots)? Eat less crap and get my ass moving more. I don’t really have a goal weight, but I figure that I’ll know when I’m there. This isn’t going to be a weight loss blog. I PROMISE. But since I weigh myself on Mondays I figure I’ll post my progress so you all (assuming that an “all” ever develops for this blog) can bitch at me if I fall off the health wagon. 

So, two weeks ago, I weighed X (yea you thought I was going to tell you how much? not likely). A week ago, I weighed X-2. 

And today? -.02 (x-2.2 for those of your not gifted in math)

I did pretty good with eating all week… until Saturday. There was a certain “Lebowski” party and there MAY have been a white russian, or two, or like, six. And popcorn. And curly fries. Oy. And I kind of blew at working out… in that I did it only twice. I’m lucky I didn’t gain back the 2 I lost last week!