A true test of patience

Remember that weekend I was talking about? Yea. I’ll save you the long, long discussions. Fights. Negotiations.

I’m going. I am not happy about it. But I DO have to act happy about it (or at least, not pissy about it). Which is going to be unbelievably difficult for me because I’m not really one of those “grin and bare it” folks.

48 hours. In a cabin. With 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. With 13 people. And no internet. Shoot me now.

Goals for the weekend include:
1- Not killing anyone.
2- Not throwing myself off a cliff.
3- Not pissing B off.



Fat Tuesday

Happy Mardis Gras! One of these days I’m going to get my ass down to New Orleans to celebrate in proper fashion. But not this year. This year, I am at work. And tonight I’ll hang w/ some friends and probably partake in a bit of drinking.

I would like to invite you into a snippet of my life, though. Lucky you.

Me: Do you want to go to church with me on Wednesday?
B: Why?
Me: It’s ash wednesday.
B: So?
Me: So, I think I’m going to church….
B: Wait that means Tuesday is Fat Tuesday right?
Me: Yep. That’s the way it works.
B: Awesome! Pączkis!
Me: Yea… so anyways, I decided I’m giving up swearing for lent.
B: Fuck that.

oy. Some days, it’s a good thing he’s cute.

Weekly Weigh-in quick post

Just a quick update while B does dishes (have I mentioned how much I love guys who do dishes? I mean, it IS only fair that if I spend an hour cooking he spends 20 minutes washing dishes… but I doubt every guy would be a willing participant in this arrangement).

This week I am down 1 pound. Which is pretty damn exciting because I thought I was down 0. I don’t really understand how people lose weight, I know you’re only supposed to weigh yourself once a week and let it be. But I’m a freak and I weigh myself once or twice a day. I don’t freak out every time it goes up because I know we fluctuate, and I only count Monday’s weight, but I still step on the scale every morning before I shower and maybe once more later in the day just for kicks.

Anywaysss (longest meaningless commentary ever)… This morning I weighed myself and I was exactly what I was last week. Which was disappointing, but given B’s birthday with dinner out at pf changs, drinking, ugly cake, and breakfast made by me the following morning, I wasn’t super shocked. Then like 3 hours later I was in the bathroom and weighed myself again, and I was down a pound. I don’t know why and I don’t care. (And yes, I have a nice digital scale that I spent a bunch on so I’m not buying a new scale). But I’m taking it.

So? X-7. Rock on me. If I have a SUPER good week maybe I’ll hit February’s goal. I hope it happens but I won’t freak if not. For right now I’m pretty happy moving slowly downwards. I haven’t been driving myself nuts, I’m not doing anything non-sustainable, and I’m going in the right direction. So, whatever!

Happy Birthday B, or: Karma’s a Bitch

I have a confession to make. I have a mild syndrome of Clark Griswold Syndrome. I have these grand ideas and in my head I’m capable of anything. Bake a homemade cake and decorate it beautifully? I can TOTALLY DO THAT.

Tomorrow is B’s birthday. I had a plan. I got the recipe. I would tint white frosting blue (B’s favorite color) and I would ice alphabet cookies to write out “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” and it will be SO cute and everyone will ask where did you buy that and I will totally casually mention that I made it from scratch. During my 50 hour work week. In heels. And pearls. No big deal.

That was the plan, anyways.

Then I got to the grocery store and the frozen strawberries were REALLY freakin’ expensive and I realized I don’t own a blender or a puree-er(? what are those called???) and I’d probably end up with a $15 lumpy bad cake. So I wussed out and got a strawberry cake mix. But then I couldn’t find the alphabet cookies. And I am WAY better than buying the premade “Happy Birthday” sugar letters so I got creative. Top-chef-style. I would improvise and it would be AWESOME.

So I got chocolate chips and had fantasies of making elaborate borders and spelling out “Happy Birthday B” and I am brilliant. Except I’m not. And it didn’t really work. I kind of ran out of room and the chips are hard to read and it kind of looks like it belongs here. Which is ironic because I–on a not infrequent basis–peruse that site and laugh at all the ridiculously ugly cakes.

And then I make this.

Karma is a fickle bitch.

p.s. Yes, that is my dirty stove. Don’t judge.

Tasty Garlic Fries

I plan to post recipes occasionally when I make particularly yummy things. Hopefully I’ll remember to take pictures in the future… but I didn’t last night so oh well!

Tasty Garlic Fries

2 russet/baking potatoes
1/4 cup oil (I used extra virgin olive oil, I think you could use any kind though)
6 cloves garlic
italian seasoning

These fries are RIDICULOUSLY good–seriously just as good as restaurant fries–and not even that bad for you! This recipe makes enough for four people, as long as one of those people isn’t a teenage guy (or a guy that still eats like a teenage guy).

Take the potatoes and wash them. Slice them into whatever size fries you like. I prefer thin fries, so I cut mine into 1/4-1/2 inch fries. Put the fries in a bowl. If you cut yours thicker, just bake them longer.

Get the smallest pot you have and dump in 1/4 cup oil. Heat it over medium. While it is heating up, mince or chop up six cloves garlic. Dump the garlic into the pot and let simmer for about 5 minutes.

Take the oil/garlic off the stove. If you have a mesh sieve, strain the oil onto the fries. If not, just scoop as much of the garlic out as much as you can before pouring the oil on the fries (this is what I do). Save the garlic!!! We’ll do tasty things with it later.

Toss some italian seasoning onto the fries, and toss them until they’re all coated. Put them in a single layer onto a GREASED cookie sheet (it may take two cookie sheets depending on how thin you make the fries). Sprinkle the whole tray with salt.

Pop the tray(s) into an oven preheated to 450 degrees. After 20 minutes, pull the tray(s) out and flip the fries. If you have two trays, switch their positions when you put them back in so everything is even. Bake another 10-15 minutes and check on the fries. Just let them go until they are at your preferred done-ness.

When the fries come out, dump them back into the bowl you used to mix them with the oil and put the garlic you pulled out of the oil on top of them. Toss them again.

All done! Soooooo tasty. Just make sure your loved ones eat them too so that you’re not the only one with garlic breath!

Weekly Weigh-In (Also known as, the post I didn’t want to write today)

So, I’m up. By 0.4. But since I”m not REALLY keeping track of the partial pounds, I’m classifying it as up a pound. I am now x-6 from where I started. Sigh.

I did SUPER good all week, and was down a pound by Friday morning… then hit the weekend.

Friday night: Amazing party! (In which I ended up drinking an entire bottle of wine myself, plus a good 6-10 jello shots. But at least I skipped the birthday cake right?)

Saturday night: Valentine’s day… we went to a super nice italian restaurant. Where we proceeded to get bread, appetizer, entrees, and dessert. I was pretty proud of myself for keeping the total quantity of what I ate down (in fact, I took 2/3 of my meal home)… but still? Italian food in 4 courses? bad idea.

Sunday lunch: apparently I didn’t learn my lesson about the courses and the italian food. My family was in town for my brother’s birthday (what is UP with all the february birthdays? What happens in May that makes people all frisky??) and he wanted to go to Olive Garden. And there was breadsticks, and salad, and 2 appetizers, and entree. oy.

Oh and did I mention my mom brought me home made dark chocolate covered blueberries and strawberries? But they’re fruit… so totally healthy right? No? Fuck.

So… basically this week a lost a pound in 5 days, then gained two pounds in 2 days. Next week, I will do better!

Requisite Valentines Day Post

Let me preface this by saying: I have always been very lucky. I have had three “serious” relationships, and each boyfriend has been very good about remember birthdays, anniversaries, and yes– Valentines day. I don’t have to remind them. I don’t have to drop hints. I might have to plan the date if I want to go out– but I know I’ll get a card and some flowers or a gift.

That being said, wtf is up with men? Why is it that every Valentines day we’re all bombarded with stories of guys who “forgot”??

I’m not saying I’m into Valentines day. I think it’s kind of stupid and definitely created and really just a big excuse for people to spend more money. But it’s nice. It’s nice to have some variety, an excuse to to be extra nice, and maybe even get some sweets (really? I’m always a fan of reasons to get chocolate).

How could anyone possibly FORGET about Valentines day? I call bullshit. Anyone who owns some eyeballs and ears should be painfully aware of the holiday beginning on January 2. Between incessant jewelry ads, radio commercials, and the sudden emergence of red paper hearts? You can’t go to starbucks without a superlovelatte special (I’m guessing… gotta be honest I haven’t been to a starbucks in a LONG time). I know you can’t go to the grocery store without seeing Valentines-themed cookies, cakes, candy, decorations, and a whole section of pink flowers.

So who are these guys who forget? Here is what I think it would take to “forget” Valentines day: Starting on January 2, he does not watch one non-tivo’d show. He does not listen to the radio. He does not enter a mall, shopping center, target, or k-mart. He does not read the newspaper. He does not enter any restaurant, coffee shop, or grocery store (which stay with me here– means his wife is doing 100% of the shopping and thus SERIOUSLY deserves some f’ing flowers). He doesn’t interact with anyone over the age of 9 carrying a uterus for at least two weeks prior to the DAY.

I’m just saying… if your guy says he “forgot”? Bullshit.