Scary dreams and Week 1 weigh-in (late)

I don’t really have an excuse for not posting until Sunday, Whatever! Weigh-in first… somehow? I lost the 1 pound I was supposed to for 20/20. I feel like it was sheer mind power honestly because I was going to be so embarrassed if I failed the first week. Of course, that didn’t occur to me until like, Wednesday, so I ate pretty badly earlier in the week.

But, the important thing is that I DID lose a pound. Bringing me down to x-9 (Or, what I weighed before St. Pat’s!).

In other news… I have an unfortunate tendency to have stressful dreams about whatever job I currently have. It started in high school when I was a grocery store check-girl. Every. Single. Night. I would have these never-ending dreams that were just me, staring down at the scanner, scanning items. And it would feel like they were going on allll night long. Beep. Beep. BEEP. I only lasted 3 months in that job (worst job EVER).

Then I worked in a restaurant for five years. For some reason, in my dreams, I could never get the drinks to the table. I would get a table, and take the drink order, then all these crazy things would happen and it would take me like 45 minutes to get the drinks out and I would be all crazy and stressed. Over and over again, same dream. (For the record, I never had a particularly hard time delivering drinks to the table so I don’t really know what that was about).

I quit my serving job before I started law school and the dreams pretty much stopped. When I started my new (and supposedly more stressful) job as a lawyer the dreams never came and I thought maybe I’d finally grown out of them. Until Thursday night.

See… I have my first solo hearing on Tuesday. As in, me, alone, in court. *Gulp* So Thursday night I’m going about my (blissfully uninterrupted!) sleep and I’m blind-sided by maybe the weirdest work stress-out dream ever. I get to court. I’m stressed out and trying to arrange my notes and figure out what to say to the judge. And then? I notice I’m naked (cliche, I KNOW, but I have never had one of those naked-in-church dreams before!). Weirder yet, I was only mildly embarrassed about that. I was more upset about the fact that I forgot to get my client on the way to the courthouse!

I also had a dream that B was trying to sand my toes off. No clue what that is about… but I woke up being very grateful in the knowledge that B is not adept at home improvement and probably wouldn’t know how to use a sander anyways…


Chain of events, or: my landlord is getting me in trouble.

It started at 1:40am exactly.

Fact #1: B and I are boring. We get up for work every morning about 7, and we’re both tired by 9pm. He usually conks out by 10, I’m a rebel and I stay up until 11.

So at 1:40am we are in a lovely deep sleep when all of a sudden Stew starts barking like crazy and jumps off the bed.

Crap. Not again. B had not yet witnessed (heard?) this… so he was confused. I knew better. A lull in the barking and the cause of Stew’s angst was apparent.

Sounds. LOUD sounds… of a… erm… lustful? nature. Loud screaming sounds. From the other half of the duplex… where my landlord resides and hosts several-times-weekly sleepovers with his girlfriend. Who I affectionately call, The Screamer.*

Don’t these people work? (In truth he does and she doesn’t… but come on dude its 1:40am here).

Sigh. So there is Stew. Confused. The wall is making noises and he is determined come hell or high-water to protect B and I from the wall with his most vicious barks and growls. We scold him to no avail.

Finally he calms a bit, and I settle back in to reattempt sleep.

Fact #2: I love sleep. LOVE IT. Am super duper cranky if woken up from it for any reason.

And then B snuggles closer (how cute), and starts rubbing my arm (oh no..). Because to men, if he’s awake, and I’m awake, and the dog is already barking….

At which point I say (ever-tactful): You MUST be kidding, right?

Not the best formula for a happy morning. And it is all my landlord’s fault.

*She is actually a very nice person. But I stand by the name.

Weekly Weigh-In

A few things are changing around here. First, I lost two pounds this week! That isn’t really as exciting as it sounds because I gained three the week before (which really probably means I was just retaining water or something). But whatever, I’ll take it. Official weight is x-8.

Second, I’m doing my weigh-ins on Friday from now on, for two reasons. The first is that I always gain weight over the weekend and that is just depressing. Since Friday is my skinniest day, that is the weight I am claiming! Also, I joined a little thing called 20/20. Basically, this girl has already lost 80 pounds and has 20 to go so she decided to do a bit of an online challenge. In all, there are 152 people trying to lose 20 pounds in 20 weeks. It is nice to be part of a group with a common goal and knowing that people are actually going to be seeing my results every Friday. Maybe a little motivation? Maybe. Time will tell!

Best. Pasta. Ever. (Tortellini in tomato cream sauce)

This is my absolute favorite thing to make. I found the original recipe on my favorite food blog (that isn’t really a food blog but has lots of tasty recipes on it anyways). I really love how PW gives step-by-step instructions because it makes me feel like HEY! I can do that! So… that is what I will do for you (my imaginary readers). I tweaked it a bit here and there but the spirit of the dish is the same. Now… it isn’t what you would call “healthy”… at all. But every once and a while, you need to make a totally indulgent and amazing pasta dish right? Okay let’s get started. Here are the ingredients (except the ones I forgot to put in the photo… sigh).

Also, please notice the pretty new pan that the ingredients are sitting in. I got it during my shopping extravaganza… and I love it. Anyways……. First thing you need to do is chop half an onion (you can use whatever type you like, but I prefer spanish onions for italian food) into a fine dice.

The next step is the garlic. This takes a bit of discretion. B and I are huuuge garlic lovers. We like everything with lots of punch. So, I use 4 or 5 cloves for this recipe. When I made it for my dad (who has a low tolerance for garlic) I used one clove and it was almost as tasty, in my humble opinion. I don’t own a garlic press, so I just peel and mince it by hand. You can do whatever makes your skirt fly up. I won’t judge.

Next up, start your pan on medium-low heat. You don’t want it too hot or you will burn your garlic, and no one likes that. Add 1 Tbspn olive oile and 1 Tbspn butter to the pan. Please excuse my slow slow lens that requires the use of flash in these photos. I will buy a new lens soon, I promise.

When the butter is melted and the pan is hot, add the onion to the pan. Let it cook, stirring occasionally, for 3-4 minutes until they start to get translucent.

Then add the garlic. Ideally, there will be a little sizzling but no burning. Stir it around and let it simmer in the oil for 2-3 minutes.

Once the garlic and onion are all happy and hot, add 1 cup of chicken broth. Now… here you have another decision. PW uses wine. I love wine, but not in my food. To each their own. Also… I am cheap. And I don’t use chicken broth for anything else… so to save money I buy a cheapo can of generic chicken soup and pour the concentrated broth from that into the pan instead of buying real broth. Judge me if you must… but it’s cheap and tasty! If you do use wine, you may need to add some salt at the end when you’re doing your seasoning.

Let that hang out and simmer for 5-6 minutes. Meanwhile, get a pan with water set to boil for your tortellini and get to chopping. I am a tomato freak, so I put them anywhere I can and this is a perfect place. Usually I would chop up at least two or three tomatoes for this recipe, but this day I only had one. I am also a basil freak. I have 14 basil plants started, no joke. FREAK. So… I use quite a bit. Once chopped up, it is probably almost a full cup of basil. You can use less if you like.

Now it should be just about time to add our tomato sauce. The small cheapo can of plain tomato sauce is all you need.

Hopefully your water is about ready to boil now and it is time to put your tortellini in to cook. Mine is dry and takes almost 20 minutes so I put it in now… if you have frozen that cooks in just 5 minutes, I would hold off. Let the sauce hang out for 10 minutes or so, giving all the ingredients time to make nice. Use this time to make your chosen side dish. I did super-garlicy garlic bread (of course), but I didn’t take photos of that. Sorry. After 10 minutes add a full cup of heavy cream. Yes. A full cup. I KNOW. But trust me… soo good. And really… this makes 5 big servings or 6 normal servings… so it isn’t SOOOO horrible, ya know?

At this point. Make sure that that your heat is turned down low enough that your cream won’t boil. Boiled cream = gross. I usually turn it down to 2, which is hot enough to keep the sauce hot but not so hot to do bad things. This is totally an exact science. When your tortellini is done, make sure that it is drained well, and add it to the sauce.

You’ll notice we haven’t added the basil and tomato yet. I didn’t forget! I like to add them last because I like them to be just hot, not cooked. They tend to lose their flavor and get mushy if cooked too much. So now is the time, add away!

Now’s the time to stir, and appreciate how you are an awesome cook who makes tasty (and pretty!) food. Go ahead… be proud.

And finally, serve a very generous portion for your (eats a ton and is still thin and I hate him just a little for that… just kidding I love him) boyfriend.

1 Tbspn Olive Oil
1 Tbspn Butter
1/2 large onion, finely diced
1-5 cloves of garlic, minced
1 cup chicken stock or white wine
1 small can of plain tomato sauce
1 cup heavy cream
2-3 tomatoes, chopped
1/2+ cup chopped fresh basil
1 bag tortellini

1. Finely dice 1/2 onion and mince several cloves of garlic
2. Heat oil and butter on medium-low heat
3. Saute onion for a few minutes until translucent
4. Add garlic to pan and let sit for a few minutes
5. Add chicken stock or wine to pan
6. Set water to boil for tortellini (add tortellini as soon as it is ready)
7. Add tomato sauce to pan and stir
8. Chop tomato and basil
9. Add heavy cream to pan and stir
10. Drain tortellini and add to pan
11. Add tomato and basil to pan and stir

And that’s it! Pretty easy and super tasty. Give it a try and you will not be sorry.

The Long-awaited (and probably overrated) post about the ceiling collapse:

I know I know… I should post things when they’re fresh in my mind because the insanity and hilarity of it is partially past now. But I’ll try. And hey! There’s photos! (Which automatically makes any post better. It’s a rule.)

So once upon a time… my ceiling started leaking. As instructed, I let my ceiling dry out the next day and on that fateful Wednesday night I asked B, after dinner, to help me replace the ceiling tiles that were stained. (By which I really meant, Please do it for my and I’ll stand here and be supportive). Being the good bf that he is, he agreed. But… he was having some issues. He got the tiles out just fine but getting the new ones in was proving difficult because they seemed too big.

(here is where I sound like a bitch)

So I started getting annoyed because he was getting really frustrated and seemed like he was going to quit… and really he is not the most mechanically-inclined guy so I kind of thought he just wasn’t really trying. So I’m like “FINE. I’ll call my landlord to come help us.” And I did, and he was over in 5 minutes (love him!). Well when he climbs up on the chair to try to get the tile in he messes with it a minute then says hmmm…. maybe I bought the wrong tile because these seem to be about half an inch too long. (Cue my feeling like a total bitch for getting frustrated with B….. but HONESTLY? Who makes two different ceiling tiles 1/2 inch different? These are drop ceiling tiles? Shouldnt they come in ONE size? Argh.).

So at this point I’m like I HAVE A PLAN and I whipped out the circular saw my dad got me for Christmas (Oh yes I did) thus freaking out both my landlord and B…. but I shaved that half inch off of both tiles lickety-split.


Back up on the chair goes my landlord and the first tile drops in without a problem. The second tile, however, was really hard to get in because there were these annoying wires going from the metal-T thingies (where the tiles dropped into) to the ceiling. So my landlord figures, no worries, he’ll just disconnect one of them, get the tile in, then reconnect it.

Do you see where this is going? Do you?

Yea… so he disconnects it and the whole ceiling structure drops about an inch. So at this point B jumps up onto the counter to help and the two of them are trying to get the nail with the wire back into the crumbling plaster ceiling. In trying to do this… the drop-ceiling structure is getting knocked around and now its falling even further. At this point I’m hiding in the doorway like HOLYCOW and I just really want them to stop… but the ceiling is literally being held up by B.

This goes on for a few more minutes and I am pacing back and forth and just as I’d walked into the living room I hear a crash and laughing (a good sign)… so I walk back into the kitchen like… fuck. Half of the drop ceiling had collapsed. My landlord was still on a chair and B was still on the counter, but my drop ceiling? On the floor. Sigh.

Now I’m not exactly clear how this happened… but somehow my landlord got the flourescent light fixture and handed it to B. It was kind of dangling and my landlord was trying to take the lightbulbs out before any more fell and broke (one already had). I was trying to crawl across the ceiling on my floor to get to the doorway to the basement where I kept a flashlight. At this point I hear the weirdest yell/yodel sound I have ever heard in my life and B falls off the counter. Like, FELL. Did not catch himself, did not jump, FELL. Luckily, he fell onto the drop ceiling tiles which cushioned his fall. Turns out? He got electrocuted. Oy.

He just kind of laid on the ground shaking for a few minutes and freaking me out but he was able to nod and said he was okay. He didn’t want to go to the doctor and after a few minutes he was able to get up and move around. I made him go take a shower because he had fallen into broken glass and I wanted to make sure he didn’t get cut. While I was helping him upstairs (I wanted to make sure he didn’t pass out or anything) and into the shower, my landlord called his girlfriend over and they got most of the tiles cleaned up off of the floor.

I didn’t actually get any pictures of the collapse itself because I didn’t want to make my landlord nervous by seeing my taking pictures of it all (from his perspective… ceiling collapse + electrocution + photos of the damage + lawyer tenant = SCARY). But, he had a contractor out the next day and it was fixed by Friday at noon!

So in the end… B is fine (If a bit wary of light fixtures) and my ceiling is now fixed and actually safe now, I am assured. And that is the story of how my ceiling collapsed on a Wednesday night. (And it seems that even a few weeks removed… I found a few things to say!)

Maybe a little too comfortable at work?

So as I’m sure I’ve mentioned, my office is tiny. As in: Me, TBM, and sometimes his son working as a paralegal/office manager (but the son is now gone until summer). So we’re friendly and informal. Add to that the fact that I am 24, and my boss is 57. He has three children all in their 20s. I often think he treats me more like a daughter than an employee, which is nice.

Anyways… when things ARE so friendly and nice and semi-familial… someone is bound to slip. I’m just glad it wasn’t me.

On my voicemail when I got to work today:

TBM: Hey Lyndsey this is TBM. I just wanted to let you know that I’m probably not going to make it into the office until early this afternoon and I wanted to see if you needed anything. Give me a call if you do, mmk? K. Love you.…. I mean… um, SORRY! I thought I was talking to one of my boys… or really I mean I was filling out this paperwork for [son’s name here] and I was just thinking of him and I got confused and… well I mean I didn’t mean it. Okay well ummmmm I’m going to go now okay BYE.

*cue me cracking up in my office for a solid 2 minutes*

It’s hilarious because I’ve done the same thing–albeit not to a boss–but hey, it HAPPENS. His reaction though was hi-larious. If I knew how to upload an audio clip from my phone to my computer I just might consider it.

Two steps forward, and one step back (or, why dieting sucks).

So I’m up 3 pounds this week. Which is totally disappointing. And because I weigh myself every day (although only Mondays really count), I can pinpoint the problem. Saint Pat’s party on Saturday.

I gained three pounds in ONE DAY. What the %$#&?! This is why dieting sucks. I can be really good for 2 weeks, and lose 3 pounds. OR… in one day I can drink ummmm 10?ish? glasses of sangria, and snack on buffalo chicken dip (OMG so good) and…. actually that is really it. And gain 3 pounds. IN ONE DAY. Sigh… back to the drawing boards! 🙂

Official weight: x-6 pounds.

In other news.. B is sick. And I might be a bad girlfriend and/or person. He has been getting sick since last Wednesday night. Made it through work on Thursday, took Friday off.

Yesterday (Sunday, i.e. the day after all the drinking) he called me at 10:15am… waking me up (obviously). He said he was almost 100% and really needed to get out of the house, so I told him to come on over and I dragged my hung-over butt out of bed. Once he got there I told him there was a few things I needed to accomplish during the day (grocery store, lowes for dirt, planting of cilantro, and dog park) and that he could come with or just chill at my place. He chose to come with me to the grocery… and was miserable. You know how 4 year olds look when you force them to go somewhere they don’t want to go but they have enough self restraint not to throw a tantrum? That was the look. So we get back to my place and spend a few hours just chilling watching tv. I then decide its time for the dog park and lowes and he says he doesn’t feel up to coming. So Stew and I venture out alone and had a lovely time.

By the time we got back B really didn’t seem to be feeling any better, and as the night progressed he only got worse. The moaning. The Zoolander coughing (“I think I have the black lung pop *cough*cough*”).

Now at this point I’m having several conflicting thoughts (and herein lies why I am probably a bad gf/person):
1) It really sucks that he’s sick and I wish there was something I could DO to make him better.
2) Being that there is nothing I can do… I kind of am getting nervous about him coughing on all of my stuff. I don’t want to get sick!
3) If he was not actually well I kind of wish he would’ve stayed home today.

Yea… so I was up half the night listening to him cough, then puke. I know I know… he has it way worse than me. I do feel badly for him!! I just really really really don’t want to get sick. As soon as we got up today I stripped the bed and threw the linens into the wash on Hot. I clorox’d all of the surfaces in the bathroom. When I left for work he was still on the couch and I was contemplating if the Stew man was going to become a carrier of this particular brand of infectious disease…

I think maybe he wants me to tend to him? But there is nothing really to be done and I’m not his mom. Moms are good at tending, I am not. When I am ill I really just want someone to go and get me popsicles if I”m out (my freezer is stocked), and leave me alone. Oh well… we’ll see what I go home to today! Hopefully he’ll be feeling much better.