The Long-awaited (and probably overrated) post about the ceiling collapse:

I know I know… I should post things when they’re fresh in my mind because the insanity and hilarity of it is partially past now. But I’ll try. And hey! There’s photos! (Which automatically makes any post better. It’s a rule.)

So once upon a time… my ceiling started leaking. As instructed, I let my ceiling dry out the next day and on that fateful Wednesday night I asked B, after dinner, to help me replace the ceiling tiles that were stained. (By which I really meant, Please do it for my and I’ll stand here and be supportive). Being the good bf that he is, he agreed. But… he was having some issues. He got the tiles out just fine but getting the new ones in was proving difficult because they seemed too big.
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(here is where I sound like a bitch)

So I started getting annoyed because he was getting really frustrated and seemed like he was going to quit… and really he is not the most mechanically-inclined guy so I kind of thought he just wasn’t really trying. So I’m like “FINE. I’ll call my landlord to come help us.” And I did, and he was over in 5 minutes (love him!). Well when he climbs up on the chair to try to get the tile in he messes with it a minute then says hmmm…. maybe I bought the wrong tile because these seem to be about half an inch too long. (Cue my feeling like a total bitch for getting frustrated with B….. but HONESTLY? Who makes two different ceiling tiles 1/2 inch different? These are drop ceiling tiles? Shouldnt they come in ONE size? Argh.).

So at this point I’m like I HAVE A PLAN and I whipped out the circular saw my dad got me for Christmas (Oh yes I did) thus freaking out both my landlord and B…. but I shaved that half inch off of both tiles lickety-split.

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Back up on the chair goes my landlord and the first tile drops in without a problem. The second tile, however, was really hard to get in because there were these annoying wires going from the metal-T thingies (where the tiles dropped into) to the ceiling. So my landlord figures, no worries, he’ll just disconnect one of them, get the tile in, then reconnect it.

Do you see where this is going? Do you?

Yea… so he disconnects it and the whole ceiling structure drops about an inch. So at this point B jumps up onto the counter to help and the two of them are trying to get the nail with the wire back into the crumbling plaster ceiling. In trying to do this… the drop-ceiling structure is getting knocked around and now its falling even further. At this point I’m hiding in the doorway like HOLYCOW and I just really want them to stop… but the ceiling is literally being held up by B.

This goes on for a few more minutes and I am pacing back and forth and just as I’d walked into the living room I hear a crash and laughing (a good sign)… so I walk back into the kitchen like… fuck. Half of the drop ceiling had collapsed. My landlord was still on a chair and B was still on the counter, but my drop ceiling? On the floor. Sigh.
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Now I’m not exactly clear how this happened… but somehow my landlord got the flourescent light fixture and handed it to B. It was kind of dangling and my landlord was trying to take the lightbulbs out before any more fell and broke (one already had). I was trying to crawl across the ceiling on my floor to get to the doorway to the basement where I kept a flashlight. At this point I hear the weirdest yell/yodel sound I have ever heard in my life and B falls off the counter. Like, FELL. Did not catch himself, did not jump, FELL. Luckily, he fell onto the drop ceiling tiles which cushioned his fall. Turns out? He got electrocuted. Oy.

He just kind of laid on the ground shaking for a few minutes and freaking me out but he was able to nod and said he was okay. He didn’t want to go to the doctor and after a few minutes he was able to get up and move around. I made him go take a shower because he had fallen into broken glass and I wanted to make sure he didn’t get cut. While I was helping him upstairs (I wanted to make sure he didn’t pass out or anything) and into the shower, my landlord called his girlfriend over and they got most of the tiles cleaned up off of the floor.

I didn’t actually get any pictures of the collapse itself because I didn’t want to make my landlord nervous by seeing my taking pictures of it all (from his perspective… ceiling collapse + electrocution + photos of the damage + lawyer tenant = SCARY). But, he had a contractor out the next day and it was fixed by Friday at noon!

So in the end… B is fine (If a bit wary of light fixtures) and my ceiling is now fixed and actually safe now, I am assured. And that is the story of how my ceiling collapsed on a Wednesday night. (And it seems that even a few weeks removed… I found a few things to say!)

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