Last night about 8pm, text to B: Just spent hours cleaning and de-hairing house so your mother won’t hate me. THIS IS LOVE. (his mom is flying in this weekend and I will meet her for the first time when she comes to my house for dinner tonight)
12pm: “Did you lose your phone again?”
2:30am (from B): Sorry. Went to bed early
So we talk on gchat today and this is the convo (paraphrased for brevity):
B: Yea work was crazy last night. Worked until like 9pm.
L: Wait– you said you went to bed early. You were totally awake for my first text! You have no excuse!
B: Well I never checked my phone until like 2:30am.
L: Why didn’t you look at it when you left work?
B: Didn’t occur to me.
L: What if I was in the hospital? Or got arrested?
B: Well if you got arrested you probably deserved it. But yea the hospital would be bad.
L: Wait– you wouldn’t bail me out if I got arrested?
B: Well if you got arrested you probably deserved it… the cops don’t lock up people for no reason.
L: You wouldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt? Are you freakin’ kidding me?
B: I have no sympathy for you if you get a DUI.
L: Who says I would get a DUI, and anyways– you can yell at me but YOU STILL MUST BAIL ME OUT.
B: Fair enough.
L: If I get knocked up, I’m superglue-ing a phone to your body. You’ve been warned.
B: That sounds painful and challenging– also I like how you say “knocked up” rather than “If we decide to have a baby.”
L: Whatever. Premature Labor and Pickle cravings are equally urgent.
I have no hope of any actual improvement, I don’t think.
p.s. Lost 1.8 pounds this week– woohoo! Down 15 from the new year. 🙂