So ummmm the budget negotiations are ongoing. See, the problem is that I’m conflicted. I’m torn both externally and internally. Let me explain.
On one hand we have dear B… the accountant. He is practical and stereotypical in that he just doesn’t “get” spending money on things that are not an investment (so he says). A house, he gets. My ring, he gets. These are things that do not diminish in value over time. A wedding, meanwhile, is a single day event that will be here and then gone and in the end… regardless of the amount spent… we will be married. So why spend more than necessary?
Then we have my mother… the romantic. But its my WEDDING she says… it is my one wedding! I should have everything I ever wanted (within reason). Sure it’s only one day but its the greatest party I’ll ever throw and if you go into a little debt to make it happen? Well… it’s only money. You can’t take it with you.
External conflict. But I am also internally conflicted because I can’t decide who I agree with! I am a practical girl and the idea of spending more than $10,000 on the wedding even if we had it is just ridiculous to me. It is so much money! We could put it towards our downpayment on a house… or a new car… or a rainy day fund! (sex-ay I am with the spending). But it IS my one wedding and I don’t want to regret skimping years down the line. More money always comes along and we are in a pretty good position financially… why not… stretch?
Yep… I am one conflicted bride-to-be (squee(!) at being a bride-to-be… still really exciting to me!). I believe that the best policy is honesty so I’ve explained all of this to B. At first he was a bit frustrated at my semi-waffling at our previously hard-set $10,000 budget.
And that is when I figured out how to bring it to his (testosterone-y) level. CARS. Follow along:
B: But either way, we end up married!
me: Hmmm… I agree. But lets go at it this way. You bought a car last year… right?
B: yes… (looking at me skeptically)
me: And you could have bought a nice newer used toyota for $15,000 that would have gotten you to work every day, right?
B: right…. (not liking where this is going)
me: But you didn’t want a toyota. You wanted an audi. Which will get you to work. Won’t do any more than a toyota will do really…. but you just WANTED it. It wasn’t rational or practical, but you work hard and you wanted an audi and you bought one. A wedding is the same kind of thing for a girl. We could have a toyota wedding and it would be fine and it would get the job done… but what if I want an audi wedding? Not for any reason other than i DO?
B: I don’t get it… but I’m going to defer to you on this one. We can do whatever you want.
Analogies for the win. 🙂
Now, this is not to say that we ARE going to do an audi wedding because really.. I’m not sure that is what I want or that it is worth it to me. But, I do appreciate that I have a bit of flexibility in our budget if I decide I want it. ❤ him.