Once upon a time I was in a long term relationship (five years) with a guy who had a terrible last name. I’m not that traditional, so I just always assumed that when we got married, I’d keep my name.
But we didn’t.
Then I met B. Who does not have a terrible last name. His last name is pleasant, somewhat ethnic, and common enough that you’ve heard it but without falling into the Smith/Jones/Miller category.
And he proposed.
I’d lived with my decision to keep my name my for years. I had two degrees with my name, a slew of school mate “colleagues” that knew me by that name… it is MY name. But…………. B wanted me to change it. To take his, because we were going to be a family. Crap. Again.
For the sake of anonymity lets pretend that my name is Jane Lyndsey Smith, and B is John Doe (creative, right?). Smith-Doe sounds kind of stupid together… and I really don’t want to inflict that on our future children.
So I thought that I would just add Doe to my name without hyphenating. My last name would be Smith Doe, full name Jane Lyndsey Smith Doe.. a mouth-full but socially I could be Jane Doe and for work I could be Jane Smith Doe and all would be well.
But its just so LONG. And unweildly… do government forms even have enough spaces? Then I thought maybe I should make Smith a second middle name rather than part of my last name…. but that really doesn’t help the length issue any more than the fact that many forms would only require middle initials.
I’ve also considered dropping the Lyndsey and substituting Smith as my new (only) middle name. Its a popular option, but I really like Lyndsey (enough to use it to blog). Plus, I’ve started a small company that runs by the name of Jane Lyndsey… ahhh that complications!
Which brings us to the traditional option… drop the Smith and go straight up Jane Lyndsey Doe. I actually like how it sounds, and I’ve really come around to the idea of being “Jane Doe.” I’m just sad to give up my last name.
to be continued… some day… when I make a decision… maybe…