Feeding my kid…

I’ve been planning this post for weeks, but I wanted to wait until we had things all worked out to do it. I think (hope?) we’ve gotten to the point where we have a sustainable plan for getting Fiona to eat, so here we go!

Let me start by saying, I always planned to breastfeed. I never thought it would be a problem. My mom breastfed me with no problems, I read a whole book about breastfeeding, and my pregnancy had been so easy I just felt like I must be made for baby-having… which I assumed meant I’d be able to feed my baby with no problems too.

Not the case.

Because I had a c-section we knew my milk might take a little longer than usual to come in, but I know that babies generally do lose some weight at first and then gain it back and it just isn’t that big of a deal– you keep at it. So I started breastfeeding as soon as I could (tried the first time in the recovery room less than an hour after birth). I also got a lactation consultant (LC) to come see me within a few hours of birth at the hospital to help work on Fia’s latch. I knew it was more shallow than it should be, but couldn’t figure out how to make it better.

While in the hospital I had visits from LCs twice/day every day I was there. By the time I left we thought we’d worked out a pretty good latch with her, although it still hurt me and was still causing me a bit of damage. We thought that maybe it was just a learning curve and normal new breastfeeding pain. Also while we were in the hospital Fia was diagnosed with jaundice (on day 2) and the pediatrician told us the best way to treat was by supplementing with formula. The best natural way to treat jaundice is to make sure the baby is pooping a lot (because that clears out their system) and in order to do that– they need to eat a lot. So we said okay to supplementing and started a process of breastfeeding, then pumping and feeding her whatever I’d pumped, and then supplementing with formula. Every 3 hours. The process took 1.5 hours, so we were spending half our day, day and night, feeding her. It worked though and her jaundice levels came way down and eventually resolved themselves with no further treatment– and when we left the hospital on Friday her weight was back up to 8 lb 2 oz (birth weight of 8 lb 4 oz).

That next Monday we saw the pediatrician who gave us the blessing to stop supplementing with formula, as the jaundice had resolved. Her weight was still 8 lb 2 oz, but the pediatrician seemed happy that she was so close to birth weight at only 1 week old.

Thus started two weeks of hell. Fiona cried all the time. No really. All. The. Time. If she wasn’t eating or sleeping, she was crying. Luckily she slept decently, and I was feeding her every 2-3 hours (each breastfeeding session taking 60+ min). But that still meant that she was screaming 5-7 hours/day. Like literally screaming. Not whining, fussing, or sad crying. Wailing. We were losing our damn minds. It was not a good week in our home.

The next Tuesday we saw the pediatrician again and we told her that Fiona was crying ALL THE TIME. She said some babies cry a lot. Sigh. Fiona’s weight was 8 lb 3 oz. Which didn’t seem like enough to me– but the pediatrician said it was close enough to birth weight and they were just looking for her to be at birth weight by 2 weeks so it was fine. Enter week 2 of hell. Eat, sleep, scream, repeat. I tried to make an appointment with an outpatient LC but she wasn’t available until the next Monday. I called an LC help line and asked about my supply and she said that if Fiona was eating all the time, it was fine. Also by this time I was in a LOT of pain breastfeeding. I had large open wounds and feeding was extremely painful for me.

The next Monday we met with an outpatient LC for the first time and did a weighted feed. Fiona weighed only 8 lb 5 oz at 3 weeks old. And during the weighted feed she got only 2 oz from me. The LC said with certainty– I have a low milk supply and our daughter is hungry. She’s not gaining enough weight (she gained 3 oz in 2.5 weeks– newborns should gain 5-7 oz/week). She’s not getting enough from me. That is why she is eating for over an hour per session. That’s why she is sucking so hard she is wounding me. Thats why she’s screaming even when she’s done eating. She was hungry for two weeks and we didn’t know. (Cue guilt). She recommended we start supplementing again to get this kid fed while I work on my supply. She also prescribed All Purpose Nipple Ointment to help get me healed.

That week we started a cycle of breastfeeding (no more than 40 min as per the LC), then I pumped while B fed Fia whatever I’d pumped last time and then supplement with formula. It was a long week but Fiona was sooooooo much happier. Immediately the screaming reduced to almost nothing. It was like magic and I finally started falling in love with my baby, rather than loving her because she was mine but also sort of fearing her every time her eyes opened because I knew it meant screaming.

The next week at our LC appointment Fiona weighted 9 lb 6 oz! She was certainly making up for lost time and the LC was thrilled. But unfortunately when Fiona fed again, she still got only 2 oz. No increase in my supply. The LC told me I could stop pumping after every breastfeeding session and just breastfeed and supplement as needed. She also told me that since I was still dealing with such extreme pain, and since my wounds had actually gotten worse rather than better in the intervening week– she wanted us to get Fiona evaluated for a posterior tongue tie. This is the type that is very hard to see/diagnose and you need to go to a specialist to get fixed. A specialist that is 1.5 hours from our home, and that unfortunately was on vacation that week. The earliest we could get in was the next Friday. She also said that my open wounds were putting me at risk for a breast infection and I really needed to get myself healed, so she thought I should take a break from breastfeeding and just pump/feed until I was healed, but she warned me that sometimes when young babies take a break from breastfeeding they refuse to start back up. So I opted to just breastfeed at night and pump during the day.

So we toughed it out another 1.5 weeks and took Fiona to be evaluated at 5.5 weeks. She did have a posterior tongue tie AND a lip tie. We had both “clipped” via laser– which was probably more traumatic for me than it was for her (although she was not a fan). That weekend she went on a nursing strike and refused to breastfeed, but by the following Tuesday she was willing to nurse again. I was still nursing at night and pumping/feeding during the day because I was still not healed, but I noticed that her latch seemed better than ever at this point and breastfeeding her started to hurt less.

Then the next Sunday rolled around, and we had another nursing strike. I called the LC on Monday and was told that because I’d been unable to breastfeed her exclusively she might be developing a bottle preference and if she refused to nurse there wasn’t much I could do. She suggested trying a nipple shield, and said if that didn’t work I’d probably just have to give up nursing and pump/bottle feed.

She did NOT care for the nipple shield but the next morning I tried nursing her again (sans shield) and she did it! I decided enough was enough, and wounds or not I was going to breastfeed my kid. So I just breastfed her every meal despite the pain from my (still not healed) wounds, and supplemented afterwards. Everything was going great and I was really hopeful that we had worked out our issues (finally) after 8 weeks. She seemed happy, I was thrilled to be back to breastfeeding and not having to pump, and I actually seemed to start healing a little bit now that her latch was better.

Everything was great until the next Monday when it was like a switch flipped and Fia decided she hated bottles. She would finish breastfeeding and be clearly still hungry (she has a specific hungry cry + she chews on her hand), but would fight and cry and thrash when we put the bottle in her mouth. If we kept trying she’d eventually take it and then eat ravenously. But as the week wore on, we lost more and more battles. By Friday I had only been able to get 1.5 ounces from a bottle into her, which is about 8 short of what she needs. That night she cried for an hour because she was so hungry, she’d already breastfed and I had nothing more to give her, and she refused to take the bottle.

It was a tipping point. I’d bought into all the “breast is best” data— but for MY kid? When I wasn’t making enough to just breastfeed her and breastfeeding her  meant that she would refuse bottles and then be hungry? Something had to change. I decided to try going back to just breastfeeding her at night and bottle feeding all day. I thought if she was only breastfeeding twice/day and bottle feeding 5 times/day she’d get used to both again. But she didn’t. She would continue to fight us on the bottle throughout the weekend, and any progress we made with her on Saturday was destroyed on Sunday by my breastfeeding her overnight.

So I quit.

I was honestly, shockingly, heartbroken over it. I never thought I’d care. Breastfeeding had been such a crazy (painful) challenge for me that I would’ve thought I’d be happy to be forced to give it up. But that bond (the one I’d always rolled my eyes at because I just didn’t get it)? It sneaks up on you. And I miss the snuggles, especially since Fiona is not a very snuggly baby. And I miss the way she’d fall asleep nursing and sleep in my arms for a few minutes (the only time she ever slept on me anymore). That sleepy happy milk-drunk face, that honestly can’t be replace by a bottle (at least not for her)…

happy fia

 

But it wasn’t worth it. Not if it meant hours of crying every day because she was hungry and wouldn’t take a bottle.

So now I pump. And we bottle feed. She gets about 2/3 breast milk and 1/3 formula, and now that she never breastfeeds she fights the bottle far less. We’ve been at the new plan for a week and I wouldn’t say we’ve got it entirely figured out. She still refuses the bottle and screams sometimes and we’re not sure why. But for most meals she takes the bottle with no problem now and we have our happy baby back.

I never ever expected feeding my baby to be so hard. I assumed I would breastfeed and it would just work, like it has for billions of women across the millennia. Or if for some reason it didn’t work it would be immediately obvious and we’d formula feed and I’d be fine with it. I never expected two months of struggle and pain and lactation consultant appointments and fighting. But I’m hopeful that we’ve now found what works for Fia and we can put this battle mostly behind us.

Advertisements

Fiona: 2 months

Wow– two months already! Here we go!

IMG_0345

Stats: Fiona was 12lb 0oz and 23 inches at her 2 month appointment! She’s 60th percentile for both height and weight, so perfectly proportional (something I don’t think I’ve ever been!) and right about average.

IMG_0308

Clothing Size: Fiona has started to outgrow some of her 0-3 month stuff, although that is also partially because of her cloth diapers (which we started in week 5). She also fits solidly into a lot of her 3 month stuff at this point.

IMG_0032

Sleep: Fiona continues to be awesome in the night sleep department. She started getting on a pretty regular schedule of sleeping 10-5, waking to nurse, and then going back down until 7. The last week she has been sleeping until 8! We’re considering trying to move her bed time up a bit earlier because she seems to get tired around 8pm and and it would be nice to have some extra time with B in the evenings. We did put her down at 8pm last night because she was falling asleep, and it went horribly (she fell right asleep but then woke up at 3:30am to eat and never went fully back to sleep after that!)— but she had had her vaccines at her appointment yesterday and was definitely feeling the effects all day. Today we put her down again at 9, but I think we might try moving her back to 8 again some time soon. Naps are a bit hit or miss. I’m trying to do a 3 hour EASY (eat, activity, sleep, you) schedule with her, which some days works perfectly… and some days doesn’t work at all. Getting her down for a nap is rarely a problem anymore, but I’ve noticed that when she sleeps for 1-1.5 hours she wakes up happy and our day goes on very well. When she wakes up after 30-40 minutes it is pretty much impossible to put her back to sleep, but she is still cranky and tired. When that happens it often sets us off on a bad foot for the rest of the day because then she is overtired and continues to not sleep or eat well. I have not yet figured out how to fix the problem– but I am working at it!

Screen Shot 2014-07-19 at 10.42.37 PM

Eating: Biggest challenge by far this month. It sucked. Really bad. I can’t even get into it in this post… except maybe to summarize and say that I think I’m done breastfeeding. And I’m really sad about it.

Milestones: I feel like Fiona has changed so much this month! She started making really good eye contact and smiling more and more. In the last week or two she started “talking” a lot too, and her coos are adorable. She can now track us with her eyes, and she watches as I move around her when she’s on her play mat. She flails and kicks a lot, and while she isn’t “reaching and grabbing” yet… she does sometimes get hold of one of her toys and hold onto it and seems to find that very funny. She’s also doing much better on tummy time, and when I hold her stomach she can sit up really well! We also tried her bumbo for the first time today and she did so well! She’s a strong little girl!

bumbo

Things I Want to Remember: So much this month! I feel like this month Fiona got really fun. As soon as she started smiling we started having a real two-way relationship. She follows me more with her eyes and she smiles really big when I “boop” her nose. She also loves when I sing “I love you a Bushel and a Peck” to her, and she loooves watching the fan. She’ll just smile and smile and kick and kick watching that fan go around and around. I also want to remember this month for breastfeeding. For a brief period I thought that we’d worked through our feeding issues and we got into a good breastfeeding routine. I never thought I’d be one of those people who was into breastfeeding for the bond, but I’ll admit that there is something that is just so incredibly sweet about how content she was when feeding. It was a contentment beyond anything else I can do for her, and when she was satisfied she’d pull away with her eyes closed and the sweetest happy look on her face. I will most certainly miss that!

Outings/Adventures: We took Fiona to her first social outing! One of our good friends had a bbq for July 4 and we took Fiona along– she did great! We managed to stay there from about 4-8, and I even managed to feed her there (first time I’d breastfed her outside of our home or the hospital). I was so glad she managed to nap and hang out while out, it made me feel like going out is a little bit more do-able.

Screen Shot 2014-07-19 at 10.42.25 PM

Favorites: Fiona’s favorite things are the fan in our bedroom, the giraffe that hangs from her play mat, and when you sing to her or talk to her in silly voices. My favoritest thing ever (in life) is when I do something she thinks is funny and breaks into a huuuuge toothless grin and gives me a coo that is almost a laugh. I love making that kid happy. B’s favorite thing is “talking” with her. He sits her up on his legs and she coo’s and he coo’s back and it’s like they have a little conversation. So cute. Also when he sings journey to her.

What I’ve Learned: The importance of naps! Fiona really needs to be PUT to sleep with a routine and not just left to fall asleep on her own, even for naps, and I’ve learned that when she is well rested she is a super happy baby. I haven’t quite figured out how to make sure she is well rested all the time, but I’m working on it! I also think that this month, now that I’m feeling that I’m more on top of this whole “mom” thing and not just trying to survive each day, I realized how much I really want to remember all the details of this time in our life. It’s entirely possible that Fiona may be our only baby and she is already growing so damn fast! On one hand I love it because every day she is more fun than the day before (well– there is certainly an upward trend, but some days she is just a cranky pants lol). On the other hand I know that I’ll miss when she could fit snuggly on my shoulder or in my arms. Last month I wrote how I wanted to remember the snuggles, and I’m glad I enjoyed them while they were happening because Fiona has already become a far less snuggly baby. I think I need to remember daily, and not just once a month, to try to enjoy all the time I have with her right now.

IMG_0033

Things that are awesome.

… continued from my last post about the the top 10 sucky things about parenthood so far. The top 10 things that I’m loving about Fiona and being her mom!

10) Fia’s little monkey feet. And her tiny hands. And her chubby thighs. And her squishy cheeks. And basically all parts of her… staring at the most adorable baby ever is not a bad way to spend your way. Not that I wouldn’t love her if she wasn’t cute. But come on…. 

IMG_9440

 

9) The fact that she’s a rock star sleeper. Of all the traits a baby can have, I seriously appreciate this. Before Fia was born I was most worried about sleep. Neither B nor I are particularly good on no sleep, so I just wasn’t sure how I would handle a kid that was up every 2 hours for months. It makes me feel like maybe we all really do get the babies we can handle– I couldn’t handle a baby who didn’t sleep and I got an awesome sleeper… but maybe I’m more able to handle our feeding issues than someone else would’ve been.

8) All her funny faces. Which is actually different than just her being so damn cute. She’s starting to get a personality and I love watching it develop. She spends a lot of time looking like she’s figuring things out, and sometimes she gets this super surly look… glimpses of her teenage self! 

IMG_9291

7) Figuring out what she needs. The learning curve to parenting is so steep. I’m figuring her out, she’s figuring me out, and we’re slowly working into a routine that works for both of us. I love that I’m getting to the point where I can generally tell why she’s upset if she is. It makes me feel like a good mom when I realize I know the difference between a hungry cry and a tired cry!

6) The way she stretches post-nap. It makes me laugh every. single. time.

stretch

5)  Dreaming of the future. Every day Fia becomes more the person she’s going to be. She is changing and growing so fast! I’m not particularly anxious to move past this time in our life, but I do think she is just going to get more and more fun. I love thinking about the first time I’ll get to put pigtails in her hair. The first time she asks me to do her nails. Come to think of it, the first time she says ANYTHING! I’m so curious about who she is going to be, even though I know I’ll miss her being tiny when she gets too old to curl up on my chest and snuggle. 

4) Watching her watch the fan in our room. I have no idea why it is SO fascinating, but it makes her happy every time. I’ve never in my life been so caught up on laundry because I do it every day so that she can lay on the bed and watch the fan while I fold clothes! 

fan watching

3) Making her happy. Sometimes when she is close to sleep I stroke her forehead and she smiles and closes her eyes and drifts off and it’s the best thing ever. Or when she got that fully satisfied look after breastfeeding… making her happy makes my entire day. 

happy fia

 

2) Speaking of happy… her smile. I’m not really a person who cries a lot, particularly not happy tears. But I literally cried the first time she made eye contact with me and smiled and I knew that smile was for me. For someone who was never a baby person before… I’m shocked at how entirely true it is that there is nothing better than when your baby smiles at you. I spend half her awake time singing and talking to her in stupid voices trying to win those amazing little smiles and happy coo’s. 

 IMG_0314

 

1) The love. I love her so much it makes my heart literally ache sometimes. And every day, somehow, I love her more. And I love B more for being her dad. For helping create her. For being the first one to hold her. For the way he sings to her. I didn’t know how much I could love him until I saw him cry when she was born, or saw him dancing around the living room singing to her. She hasn’t just doubled the love in our home, she’s somehow multiplied it infinitely. 

 

Apparently I’ve turned into a big mush ball, but I blame this blue eyed beauty (and I wouldn’t have it any other way).

IMG_9259

Things that suck.

I wanted to do a post on the best and worst things on parenting (so far)… Fiona is 2 months old today and I can officially say that today there are way more awesome things than sucky things. I’m not quite sure where the tipping point was, but I think maybe somewhere between 4-6 weeks… and it just keeps getting better. But I’m all about truth in blogging so I feel I should share the suck too (also so I remember when the inevitable baby fever strikes and I need to remind myself why MAYBE having just one perfect baby is enough). And since I’m all about ending on a high note, I’ll share the suck first.

Top 10 sucky things about parenting:

10) Waking to feed in the first month. We were blessed with a great sleeper and for that I am eternally grateful. But having to set an alarm for every 3rd hour of the night and then piss my kid off to feed her when all she wants to do was sleep? Suck.

9) Revolving door of guests. I might be in the minority here (although I don’t think so), and I acknowledge that we had some extenuating circumstances (see below re: healing and feeding)… but having guests in and out of our house so much the first 4 weeks of Fiona’s life stressed me the hell out. I thought I was protecting us by not allowing any overnight visitors the first week we were home… but that was not enough honestly. If I ever have another kid, unpopular as it might be, I think that I will have a “grandparents only” visitors rule for anything more than a quick (by which I mean– 1 hour tops) pop-in. And even for grandparents, 3 night max at a time (except my mom honestly– because when you’re having a hard time sometimes you need your mom. Even if you’re almost 30. And I don’t care if it isn’t fair, it’s what I need).

8) Unpredictable schedule. Maybe your kid slept great last night, but who knows what they’ll do tonight. Maybe they just went down for a nap, but do you have 10 minutes or an hour? Do I have time to shower? Can I wash bottles (not being able to hear if she’d cry because the water is running) or will she wake up before I’m done? When should we eat when she’ll be okay enough that we can possibly eat together…? And speaking of…

7) Not eating with two hands. For the first month of Fiona’s life (except when my mom visited) I don’t think B and I ever ate a meal together where we both got to use two hands. Inevitably she’d freak out right before dinner and we’d have to take turns holding her.

6) Crying you can’t stop. The older Fiona gets, the more she only cries when there is a problem. But that was not always the case. Sometimes babies cry and you can’t figure out why and you can’t stop them and it just sucks. You think you now how much it sucks before you have a kid– because you can imagine… having a crying kid sucks right? But you have no idea until it is YOUR kid and you feel incompetent because they are screaming and you have tried everything and what worked last night isn’t working tonight and omg take this kid before I lose my damn mind.

5) Not being able to go out anymore. I mean… I guess we COULD. But we’re scared. B and I have spent our lives being annoyed by crying babies in public. We were always all… omg why would you bring a kid here? Keep that kid at home! And now that we have a kid, we don’t want to be those parents that inflict our crying kid on the world. Not that she cries that much anymore, but I imagine karma will bite us in the ass the first time we try to take her to a restaurant and she’ll scream the whole time. Other than the grocery store or target or the doctor… we haven’t yet taken Fiona anywhere really. Which means we’ve not gone anywhere really. We haven’t eaten in a restaurant together in over 2 months… how crazy is that? (I actually never ate a meal outside of our home until last weekend… wow).

4) Lack of time together. Because I was up so much at night, I wanted to go to bed when Fiona did to maximize my sleep. Which meant B and I had basically zero alone time for 2 months. This is the first week we’ve tried putting her down and coming back downstairs for 30-60 minutes before we head to bed. Already I can tell that just that small amount of alone time every day is making such a difference in our happiness.

3) Speaking of B– his schedule. I’m grateful for his job, and I definitely want him to finish school. He’s doing everything right… but it sucks. I’m alone all day 5 days/week. And 2 nights/week he is in class until after bed time so I’m on my own from wakeup until bed. And then he has group work for his class 1-2x/week as well. So I’m home alone with a baby A LOT. And I love her and it’s actually fun hanging with her a lot of the time now… but that is an awful lot of time to be alone with a baby, especially because of….

2) Healing issues! I had a c section. I’ll write more about that, but for now let’s just say… RECOVERY SUCKS. Especially when you’re home alone. And also…

1) Feeding issues! This will also be a separate post, but has been by FAR our biggest challenge in taking care of Fiona. I have shed more tears over trying to get this little girl fed than I have about anything else in my entire life. Including a rather epic breakup I had in college. When you have trouble feeding your kid, there is nothing worse. They are so tiny and you just want them to be healthy, and when you can’t figure out how to make that happen, it is wholly heartbreaking. And at 2 months, we have still not quite worked this out. I think we may be on our way to a solution, and I can’t even express how excited I’ll be to not have every feeding session be such a struggle!

 

And this got long… so stay tuned for my next post of things that are awesome!

A day in the life… 2 months.

I thought it would be fun to do a “day in the life” post to see (and remember) how I spend my days at this point in Fiona’s life. This is yesterday, which was a day when B had class at night so I was on baby duty until bed time (when he doesn’t have school, he gets home around 6:30-7 and usually helps with dinner and gives me a little bit of a break). Luckily Fiona is a great night sleeper (for now) so I’m probably more well rested than most new moms… although she doesn’t nap much during the day so those are maybe a little bit busier than most. Here we go!

2:30am- Fiona starts fussing. I think she probably needs to eat so I get up and go to the bathroom before grabbing her…. but by the time I’m done 3 minutes later she is back to sleep. So I go back to bed.

4:30am- Fiona starts fussing. I think she is hungry, and this is a normal wake-up time for her. I get up and put my glasses on, take my water over to my nursing glider on the other side of our room and turn the TV on (I just leave it on the netflix homepage so I have enough light to nurse without waking B up). By the time I get back to her crib 3 minutes later, she is asleep. I leave my glasses on and lay back down and leave the TV on, sure she’ll be up in another 5 minutes but…

5:20am- I wake up to Fiona fussing again. This time I grab her right away because I’m tired of this up and down nonsense. Unswaddle her, and nurse her on one side. Change her diaper, reswaddle her, and try to nurse the second side but she’s fallen back asleep and won’t nurse. So I put her back down in her pack n play and head downstairs to pump. The cat puked on the carpet so I clean that up. Then pump. Then back to bed.

7:45am- Fiona wakes up crying and B gets up with her and lets me sleep a little more.

8:15am- I wake up to Fiona crying. Brian is in the shower so I get up and grab her and take her downstairs. Diaper change, and nurse her. Then I feed her the milk I pumped earlier that morning. We play around for a little bit chatting and singing (more me than her). I ask B to throw a load of whites in the wash.

10am- She starts looking tired. I change her diaper and put her in her swing (she hates being rocked to sleep.. weirdo haha). She falls asleep at 10:20 and I grab a muffin and some coffee and get online to chill out for hopefully an hour…

10:44am- She’s up! I try to calm her back down to sleep for a bit longer but I fail. I get her up and we play a bit more. 11:15 diaper change.

11:45am- She’s hungry so I nurse her, then feed her some more pumped milk. Changed her diaper again at 12:15 and 12:30 (she loves waiting until I change her diaper then pooping right after! She’s clearly tired so I try calming her down a bit and get her into the swing and asleep.

1pm- She just fell asleep in her swing. I run upstairs and throw all the dishes I’ve made so far in the sink. The dishwasher is full of clean dishes and I don’t have time to unload them. I quickly run and clean the half bath because someone is stopping by later. I grab some cheese and crackers and a pluot to eat for lunch. Fast food is important because I never know how long I’ll have. Hopefully an hour? (An hour seems to be the amount of time it takes for her to be really well rested and happy). I sit down to eat and hop on my computer again for a break.

1:35pm- She’s up! Damn. Not that she’s not cute, but I know she’s still tired. I can’t get her to sleep any more. Oh well… time for a bath! I throw the whites in the dryer then I try out a new bathtub that allows her to actually sit in a tiny bit of water, rather than just the sponge bath chair I’d been using. She freaks the hell out and it takes 10 minutes to calm her down and convince her I was not trying to drown her– poor baby! She also pees on our bed. She gets a sponge bath and then into the pack n play so I can strip our bed and throw the linens in the wash. I get her dressed and we head downstairs.

2:20pm- Time to nurse again! Then supplement with formula. Another diaper change, and another 15 minutes after that. Right as I’m changing the second diaper my guest stops by. We chat for about 10 minutes then Fia is clearly getting tired so I put her down for another nap at 3:35pm. I visit with my guest for another half an hour then walk her out to her car in our driveway. By the time I come back in..

4:05- she’s up! Another 30 min nap, sigh. I run up and throw the sheets in the dryer. We nurse again, and I try to supplement her but she doesn’t want any formula. Diaper change. I try to put her back down for a nap but she is not having it. We head upstairs and I put her in her pack in play to watch her fan (a favorite game) and I make the bed. Then I put her on the bed and fold the load of whites we’d washed earlier that day (I’ve never in my life been so caught up on laundry– she LOVES hanging out on our bed watching the fan so I try to do laundry every day so I have something to fold). Another diaper change. I try rocking her, I try her bouncer, I try the swing… homegirl will. not. nap.

6:30pm- I give up on her trying to nap because at least she is pretty happy in her bouncer and I’m out of ideas after an hour of trying. I make myself a turkey sandwich really fast and eat it while bouncing her in her bouncer.

7pm- She falls asleep right as I’m about to feed her. Of course! But she needs the sleep so I let her go. I run upstairs and unload the dishwasher, reload it with the day’s dishes, and tidy up a bit from the day’s chaos. I also toss the day’s cloth diapers in the wash.

7:25pm- she’s up! Diaper change, diaper change, and nursing. Supplement with formula.

8:30pm- B texts that he is on his way home. I throw a frozen pizza in the oven for him. Diaper change. Turn cloth diapers on for their second cycle. She’s happy but doesn’t want to be set down so I just hold her and we sing songs. She’s a big fan of James Taylor and Johnny Cash (me too).

8:50pm- B is home and we hang out a little bit while he eats. She starts looking tired so..

9:15pm- I head upstairs with her to nurse her to sleep. Nurse one side, change her, swaddle her, nurse the other side. She falls asleep while nursing, so I put her down in her pack n play.

9:40pm- I head downstairs and turn on the monitor to watch her, and start washing all the day’s bottles. B comes upstairs and takes over the bottle washing and I start unpacking some of the stuff my friend had brought over (hand me downs) earlier in the day. She wakes up so I head upstairs and shush her back to sleep.

10pm- We head downstairs and watch half an episode of ninja warrior and chat while I send a few emails for my photo business.

10:40pm- Pump! At least I can do it while watching TV.

11pm- Bed time for B and I. I get my stuff ready for the night (motrin, water, protein bar) and he hangs up the cloth diapers to dry. Then to bed we go and we’re out in approximately 14 seconds…

 

So, that’s it! It was a pretty normal day. Sometimes she sleeps a little more, which is nice because then I can get a little more done… but at least she was in a good mood all day (sometimes when she doesn’t sleep much she is really cranky). Also I usually try to do tummy time with her a few times, but I spent so long trying to get her to nap we didn’t really have time for that because I try not to do it right after she eats, so she doesn’t puke! Oh, and I do shower usually every other day at least. Yesterday was not that day, but when I do I just put her in the pack n play after her first morning feeding after I’m awake, and hop in for a quick shower. She almost always will just watch the fan and coo happily as long as I’m out pretty fast. I’m pretty luckily that she’s a generally happy baby and that even though she doesn’t nap a ton during the day, she’s a rock star at night. ❤