Did you know that rubber can catch on fire? Silicone rubber potholders?
I do. Guess how?
Note to self: make sure to pay attention to WHICH burner you’re turning on so as not to start a FIRE in the kitchen when trying to heat up a kettle of water. Argh.
I could do a lot in fifteen minutes... 
You are truly dangerous. From now on, take-out!
If I could eat take-out for every meal without going broke or having an 80″ ass, I would. Believe you-me.